“Guidebooks for the Dead” by Cynthia Cruz
http://www.mudcityjournal.com/cynthia-cruz/ This poem is weird. Yes, I know all of these poems I have explored have been exceedingly strange, but this one is a different weird. When exploring the expansive, never ending internet, I stumbled upon many different poems written by Cynthia Cruz all titled, “Guidebooks for the Dead” so in the link today’s poem is the last selection titled that. Alright, with all that business out of the way, let’s tunnel into this next beautiful, dark creation of Cynthia Cruz. Okay, starting from the top. “Guidebooks for the Dead,” more than one, perhaps this alludes to why multiple poems are titled this. Perhaps each poem possessing this title is another edition, providing advice for people stuck in between the world of the living and the dead, a world that is explored rather frequently by Ms. Cruz. Keeping this idea of advice for the in between in mind, let’s discuss this first line. “I pull the bell on the string at the gate.” That’s longer than Cruz’s typical opening line, although it is no more revealing. The subject/speaker of the poem is directly involved, he/she is the one performing the actions, the one who is trapped in the betweens. The speaker is pulling a bell, essentially ringing a doorbell (or in this case a gatebell), but to what? I immediately conjured up both vivid images of the pearly, glorious gates of heaven, and the fiery, twisted gates of hell. Either way could cause the subject to feel some sort of nervousness regarding her fate. The next line clarifies the image, “Then all the demons came.” Now the fiery, twisted, black gates of hell appear before me with demons pouring out of them, threatening me. For some reason, I feel that the speaker is young, maybe even a child. The language is simple and evokes that feeling for me. Lines 3 and 4, “Where is the coat/God gave me:” further cement two ideas to me. One, that the speaker is young or at least naive in their way of thinking, and two, he/she is scared/nervous. The subject automatically moves towards thinking of something that will protect them against the onslaught of demons. They turn to God, and as God gifted them this coat, it seems that perhaps they were not destined to go to hell. That is why the demons arriving produces such an instinctual reaction in the speaker. He/she was expecting something else. The naiveness of the speaker is apparent again with the simplicity of their request. They do not blame anyone else for wrongdoings, but search for that protection of something bigger than themselves, in this case God. If we view God as the supreme father figure, it all clicks into place. He will be the protector of those experiencing hell. “Long and mink/And to save me” follow the request and describe this mystical coat of protection, the ever important gift from God. It occurred to me this is the second time in a row, I have experienced the use of a mink coat (check out “Erstling if you wish to see the first) in one of Ms. Cruz’s wonderful works. Again, mink coats are expensive, luxurious accessories that fall way out of line with the poverty and desolation present in Cruz’s life and works. It would make sense that God would give an elegant, expensive gift, but this mink coat is protection from the demons as well. Why? Why? Why? I hear this burning question reverberating through my head. Why is the mink associated with protection, with salvation? The thought that came to mind deals with disguise. The mink coat disguises the speaker as a rich, extravagant human being, one too worthy to be sent to the pits of hell. The demons come for those who are too poor to be able to go to heaven, so, with the aid of this mink coat, God saves one. But alas, he/she cannot be saved because she cannot find this glorious gift. [cue dramatic shift] In the upcoming lines, we get to experience the true glory of Ms. Cruz work, that is, her ability to tie snapshots together into a “cohesive” story. We leave that speaker in front of a gate surrounded by demons for a moment as we transition to the next two lines. “Under the blue awning/Of the shelter in the rain.” These lines are much more calming than hell and present imagery that is peaceful by bringing the color blue into play. It is raining outside, another contrast to the fires of hell, and the speaker is seeking shelter an awning, a covering. This could be construed as another sort of disguise or a hiding place. Hiding from their true fate perhaps? Trying to change their destiny? If we zoom out further in our view, this awning, this hiding place is “Beneath the shadow/Of the cathedral.” I would like to call attention the fact it is not “a cathedral,” but rather “the cathedral.” It means that this is someplace specific, that not just any old cathedral would fit the speaker’s needs, but this particular cathedral is important. The idea of a cathedral contributes to the overarching religious tone as well. As we are standing the shadow of one, it is like the cathedral dominated the speaker’s life. It influenced their actions, which may be why they were so nervous standing at those gates because they knew their significance. They knew what could be in store for them. Perhaps this drastic shift represents the speaker running away from those gates because they know how that journey ends (with hell), so now they are looking back searching for what went wrong and trying to fix it frantically before the demons catch up. Continuing on that train of thought, it is time to reveal the following lines. “I’m riding the same train/As my father now.” Surprise, surprise, I refuse to follow any literal thought processes, so the train mentioned is not an actual train. I took it to mean path, as in path of living. Combining that idea with the familial connection expressed by bringing the subject’s father into the poem, I have this understanding that the speaker is trying to emulate their father. To be like him. By including the word “now,” it implies that this was not always the case. The speaker is now trying to fix their mistakes to live as a replica, one could say, of their father. Bringing back the religious domination in this subject’s life, it is highly likely that their parents contributed to this, so it follows that the speaker’s father would be religious and perhaps now, seeing the consequences of their life, the speaker wishes to be as well. The poem closes with two more lines, “And how I love/The white hiss of prayer and magic.” Upon reading these lines, I felt an immediate sense of catharsis. The emotions and suspense of the preceding lines held me captive and the last two lines provide liberation. The speaker is loving something, a contrast from that life in hell she would have spent if something had not changed. What does he/she love? This odd description of “the white hiss of prayer and magic.” Now, white could represent two different things. One could be softness or quietness, as in a background of prayer and magic, an underlying lull, something not audibly heard but always present. A force that directs that person down their chosen path of life. The other could be an actual reference to skin color. Religions possessing cathedrals are Eurocentric, such as Catholicism and Protestantism. Thus, the teachings from within would be white in nature. I favor a duality of the two ideas presented. There is that lull, the new course by which the speaker will live her life in pursuit of her father, and in this case it is quite a “white” religion. Now let’s step back and take a look at the poem as a whole. Looking back, I wonder if there were two gates at all. Perhaps that gate represented both the gates of heaven and hell. When you approach those gates, you must ring a bell. Based on your decisions in life, that bell reveals demons or perhaps angels if you are righteous. In this beautifully crafted poem, demons are revealed. This does not lend itself to be the speaker’s final destiny though. He/she is not condemned immediately to hell. It’s as though it is a wakeup call for the speaker and all of a sudden, they are put on that path towards a better life perhaps, following the footsteps of their father. We can each take this as an example. We will never be literally standing at that ambiguous gate, but there are moments in our life that we can liken unto that. Find those moments and define your positions in life. Take a look at yourself, perform a self evaluation, discover what needs to be changed. You have the power to direct your path in whatever way you can possibly imagine. It may be tough, but in the end you will become a better version of you.
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